Center Court November Spotlight: You Can Play

I still remember the first day I saw her. Our junior varsity match complete, I sat on the sidelines watching the varsity team, filled with equal parts envy and awe as her small, muscular form sped across the field, the ball seemingly magnetized to her feet. I was mesmerized by the way she darted past her opponents, gliding effortlessly between them with expert fake-outs, pumping her fist into the air as she made her third goal of the game. Though I couldn’t see the number on her jersey, that close-cropped hair was unmistakable. I heard the whispers in the locker room afterwards, about that hair, about her clothes, about her athletic prowess on the field…whispers that would eventually spread like brushfire through the school. Was she gay? Was she really a boy? 

Eventually, the rumors would grow along with the questions. I remember how her time on the field grew less and less, the whispers becoming glares from parents and referees. I remember how all of her teammates turned away each time she entered the room. I remember the day she finally quit the team. And I remember the day she was the one on the sidelines, the one who had been a rising star, now too afraid to step on the field. 

Most of all, I remember how I stayed carefully silent, unwilling to admit how she had captured my heart along with that ball. I never once spoke to her, scared someone might guess my own secret, and that those whispers would be about me. 

Though this story is about my own experiences as a high school athlete, it could have happened anywhere, and is still playing out on fields, courts, and stadiums across the country, affecting players of all ages and levels of ability. A full 83% of fans surveyed believe an openly gay person would not be safe as a spectator at a sporting event, and just 24% of LGBTQ youth say they play a school sport, compared to 68% of all youth.    

You Can Play is an organization seeking to change this narrative, whose mission is to ensure the safety and inclusion for all who participate in sports, including LGBTQ+ athletes, coaches and fans. They are working to challenge the culture of locker rooms and stands by developing a culture of respect, building a vital community of allies who are able to foster a true sense of belonging in athletic environments, free of judgement and discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity and/or gender expression. 

At my twenty-year reunion I heard from classmates, she never played another game.

You Can Play is helping today’s athletes create a different ending to this and so many other stories.  

JESS SKYLESON is a former aerospace and mechanical engineer beginning an MFA program in poetry this coming September. Their work explores the intersections between art and science, as well as the illusions of time and gender. They have previously been published in the online literary journals Evocations and Nixes Mate. Jess is an Issue 2 contributor. Check out their poem, Gender Study here.